Pokemon - A Series of Bad RPGs With No Point Whatsoever

So I'm in a car, in the back seat, riding back from a Father's Day party, and I have a massive headache. Just a good a time as any to start a post on why I hate Pokemon right?

Seriously though, what is WITH Pokemon? It seems like anyone who grew up with a Nintendo handheld loves Pokemon, and I've been left out. In reality, I've tried Pokemon games more than once and never got into it. In fact, it represents almost everything I hate in RPGs, and I can't stand the series.

I'm not trying to say that the millions of people who like Pokemon are wrong, but I just don't see the appeal and I find a lot of things in the series that get in the way of any enjoyment I could find from the games.

So let's get into it.

Pokemon is almost entirely luck-based.

I don't know about most people, but when I play games I like to be in control of what's going on. It's why I love games like Yoshi's Island and Super Mario Land 2. Everything you do is directly done by you. Use the D-Pad to move. Press "A" to jump. And I'm not talking just platformers here. Games like DOOM, Team Fortress 2, Pac-Mania... What do they have in common? Good control.

RPGs always have  bugged me in this regard. If you want to defeat an enemy, you don't actually do anything but tell the characters what to do. Whether those attacks connect or not or how much damage they do isn't dependent on the players actions. The Mario RPGs got it right by forcing the player to actually press buttons to execute attacks and defend. As a result players had direct control of what was going on. Most RPGs don't have that.

And you might be thinking that I really must hate a lot of games if I can my stand that mechanic, and for the most part, you'd be right. I can't play Final Fantasy games because of it, and even charming games like EarthBound are less fun to me because of it. Persona 3 is a fantastic game and I find the battling mechanic to be its only flaw. That's right, Persona 3 would be perfect if it had battling mechanics like the Mario RPGs. Can you believe it?

But Pokemon does it the worst, because the game's goal is solely to battle and catch Pokemon! At least other RPGs have something else to it, but when the entire game is based on crappy RPG battles with no control given to the player, then you bet I'm gonna be turned off quickly.

My friend and I debate about this all the time. He explains all of the strategic elements to the game and how everything isn't completely random, and my argument is always the same. The player's job in battles is to increase their chances. You choose attacks that make your chance of winning the battle greater. But you never actually fight the battle. You can say that using a water attack on a fire-type Pokemon will increase your chances, but if you choose that attack and it misses, then you're screwed and there's nothing you can do. It's the same thing with catching Pokemon. If you throw a Pokeball to catch a Pokemon, there's a chance you won't catch it. Imagine if, in a Mario game, there was a 9/10 chance of you getting bigger if you got a Super Mushroom. Or in a Kirby game, imagine if there was a 14/17 chance of getting the same ability as your enemy when you inhale him. Sound fair? Sound fun? I personally would say that it isn't.

The evolution system is more complicated than it needs to be.

I don't understand anything about Pokemon when it comes to evolution. Evolutions are important because weaker Pokemon can evolve into stronger species. If you want any hope at succeeding, you'll need to evolve some of your Pokemon.

So if the process is so important, why does it have to be so complicated? Whenever I look up something about evolutions, it seems like it's different for every Pokemon. And with hundreds of different Pokemon, that's a lot to keep track of. How do I know which Pokemon can evolve and which can't? How do I know whether the evolution's good or not? The answer? I don't, until I either figure it out on my own or do the research online.

One of the most important things a game has to do is teach the player about the mechanics of the game. Mega Man X did this through an intro stage. Yoshi's Island did it through an intro stage and hint blocks. But for these games, it was easy. There wasn't much to them. So how do you teach a player how to evolve Pokemon? Simple - you streamline the system, and no game streamlined an overcomplicated system than Terraria.

Minecraft's major flaw is it's crafting system. You have to arrange items in very specific ways on a 3x3 grid, similar to how evolving Pokemon is so specific. What did Terraria do? Easily tell you what you could make with the tools you had. You just can walk up to a workbench and press "Pause" and you instantly got to see everything you could craft. Or you could give the Guide an item and he could tell you everything you could craft that has that item in it and what other ingredients you need.

So if you have to make the evolution require specific instructions, then how about the game tell me what to do? Why can't I go to some character in the game, select a Pokemon, and have him/her tell me exactly what I need to evolve it? And if this is in the game, then why didn't I know about it or why couldn't I find it in Emerald? In Terraria, the character you needed to see appeared right next to you at the start of a new game.

Especially with so many Pokemon and so many different evolutions, an easy way to learn the system is imperative and Pokemon lacks that.

Pokemon has a stupid plot.

Oh, man, I just went there. I just insulted the most iconic catchphrase in all video gaming.

"Gotta catch 'em all?" Why? What's the point?

Well actually I know what the point is. Every character in Pokemon obsesses over how fun it is to catch Pokemon, fight with Pokemon, and make your Pokemon stronger. The game's point is to have fun and nothing else, for the most part. But, to me, how much fun is it to run around a world of one-dimensional characters with a gang of derpy-looking creatures that you have little control over, aiming to initiate fights where you pray the game will have mercy and let you win? What fun is it to waste hours fighting the same Pokemon over and over again just so your Squirtle can reach level 30? What fun is it to watch a red-and-white ball wiggle over and over, praying to the Pokemon gods that it won't explode so that you can catch that Pokemon that you only have a 1 in 8192 chance of seeing in battle but really has little difference from other Pokemon except for a few sparkles? It's not fun.

Pokemon games actually do have a basic plotline, however, but they serve no purpose but to give some variety in new games other than the technical details. All of the Pokemon villains are the same. They have some idiotic scheme, call you stupid a few times, and claim that they're better than you. That's enough to encourage any kid to waste their time, but not me. I'll turn the other cheek... and then turn it back so I can put Yoshi's Island in the cartridge slot.

***

Look, it's fine if you like Pokemon. I don't care. You're entitled to your opinion. My take is that I have no interest in wasting my time learning all of the Pokemon, all the stats, all the evolutions, and all of the typology complications just to play a game I have little control over. There's just simply no value in it for me.

Thanks for reading, and remember that I will be catching them all. Ha, you thought I was talking about Pokemon? Nah, I was talking about the catch cards in Super Paper Mario. It's tedious, yes, but at least there I have control.

-MML

Top 10 Worst Games Ever Made

Now I can't say I've played all of these games (thank god) but I have seen reviews or gameplay videos of all of these games, and from what I've seen, these are the worst out there.

A few guidelines, however:

-The game must have a retail release. No flash, freeware, or homebrew games.
-No porn games, because just about all of them suck (get the pun?), and they aren't designed to be good. Yes, that includes Leisure Suit Larry.

#10 - Spongebob's Atlantis Squarepants (Wii / PS2)

Have you ever played a game that just had no entertainment value whatsover? That's this game for you. It's not that the game is broken or that the control is bad. The problem is that it hurts to play it.

I'm not even joking. This game is the most boring and repetitive game you will ever play. It's not funny, it's not charming, it's not fun, and it's not even appealing.

Little kids would have to be handcuffed to a controller and given intense amounts of illegal drugs in order for them to play through the game fully and not want to kill themselves.

I've complained a lot about the Yellow Avenger as being one of the worst Spongebob games, but it doesn't even compare. This game is horrible and there's nothing enjoyable about it.

#9 - Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 (X360 / PS3)

I've already mentioned that I hate Sonic, but the fact is that for the most part his games aren't among the worst. The only exception is this game, and it's all thanks to the fact that the developers wanted to get this game out in 2006.

The plot also makes absolutly no sense and is full of more plot holes than the worst time travel movie you can think of. The fact that the main characters can time travel at will completely destroys any logic this game ever had to begin with. In addition, there are more random bugs and glitches in this game than I can insert into my calculator.

I can't say this is the worst video game out there, though. It's at the very least playable, and while there are glaring problems, some elements of this game actually look somewhat enjoyable. The mach speed sections of Sonic's campaign that everyone complains about seem to partially implement what I think would be better for Sonic in 3D. The problem is that the level design of these areas are horrible.

The music of this game also happens to be pretty fantastic some of the time. Solaris II is one of the best VGMs out there. I can't say that the entire soundtrack is great, because it isn't, but there are some good tunes.

Just because I'm giving this game compliments doesn't mean it's bad though. Remember that we're talking about one of the worst games out there. This game still sucks.

#8 - Superman 64 (N64)

That's right: Superman 64 is only #8. That means that there is some seriously horrible games that most people overlook coming up later.

The thing people seem to forget is that this game, at the very least, has a clear structure and an intended point. Like Spongebob's Atlantis Squarepantis, however, these concepts are completely and entirely boring. Flying through rings isn't fun in the slightest, and the missions in the interum sections are laughably stupid. The game is also like some other universally hated games, as the levels that don't involve rings are so broken that they're practically unplayable. ProtonJonSA is trying to play it, but it's hard work. That's why it takes so long for episodes of that LP to come out.

This game manages to both be boring and broken, which makes for a pretty terrible game. It just so happens, however, that there's smellier s**t out there.

#7 - Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis (PS2)

When everyone saw JonTron's video of this game, everyone instantly got a Superman 64 vibe from it. The thing about it, though, is that this game is worse!

Why?

Like I mentioned before, Superman 64 had a clear structure and intended goal. This game doesn't really have that. You just swim around and punch guys with your stupid hook hand and weird-as-hell hair and hope something happens. Eventually more stuff happens but there is no real progression. That makes this game worse than the likes of Superman 64.

The fact is that when you take a superhero that no one cares about and make a liscenced game off of it, you're bound to get something really bad.

#6 - Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (PC)

Here's another game that is commonly called the worst game ever made, but the reason it isn't the worst is because no one can deny that they didn't have a fun time completely screwing with this game. I can't say I've played it, but to me, seeing how broken a game can be is just hilarious. Unlike Superman 64 when there's a time limit that prevents you from really looking to break the game, this game doesn't even have an objective. It likely was intended to be a racer, but there's no collision detection and there's no actual race.

There is driving through mountains, however. And that at least is mildly entertaining. So congrats... YOU'RE WINNER!!! for having at least that much enjoyment.

#5 - Bubsy 3D (PS1)

What could possibly go wrong?

Everything.

Bubsy 3D is by far the worst 3D platformer in existence. It doesn't even feel complete. The texturing looks awful, the control is just plain bizzare, and the collision detection is all over the place. And above all, it also manages to bore you in the same way Atlantis Squarepantis does.

Combining a bad game with a game that has no enjoyment factor in it whatsoever makes this game. And this game is bad. Really bad.

#4 - Action 52 (NES)

Originally, I was going to include Cheetahmen 2 on this list, but since it never actually released in stores, I can't include it on this list as an intended retail game. Sure, it was finished and put in a warehouse because they didn't want to release it, and sure, it is one of the most wanted games for NES collectors, but it technically isn't official.

Action 52, however, was official, and it is really bad. I was going to make it a tie between the Genesis and NES versions, but Action 52 for the Genesis can actually be mildly entertaining sometimes, while on the NES all of the games are broken in one way or another.

The idea of containing 52 original games on one cartridge was a terrible idea to begin with, and the execution of that idea was even worse. This mess of a game is the result.

There's still three games that are worse, however.

#3 - Dragon's Lair (NES)

Look, the Angry Video Game Nerd has played bad games, but only one of the other games he has reviewed can compete with this abysmal piece of s**t.

Dragon's Lair was one of those cinematic arcade games you saw in the late 80s and, for some ungodly reason, they decided to port it to the NES. I don't know why, but they decided to do it.

First off, the NES completely lacks any cinematic capability. Second off, this game is completely broken.

I've never seen a game where the first room is almost impossible to get past, but this game managed to accomplish that. It's stupid because every obstacle in the room you don't see at first, so you have to memorize everything that happens. The problem is that unlike other games where you have to memorize patterns, control practically doesn't exist in this game, so you not only have to remember what happened, but you also have to pray that the game will decide to work this one time.

In addition the character moves slow as hell so it just makes the whole process more boring and tedious.

This game is almost the worst you can get. When control doesn't exist, that's pretty bad. When control doesn't exist and the game is badly designed, that's even worse. When control doesn't exist, the game is badly designed, and the main character moves SLOW AS F**K then IT NEEDS TO DIE IN A FIRE IMMEDIATELY!!!

#2 - ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (Atari 2600)

The irony with this entry being so high on this list is that unlike some of the preceeding games, it actually has a goal: to build the phone and get out of there. The problem is that this goal is communicated so horribly that it practially is impossible to understand. The level layout is confusing, the UI is misleading, the other characters do unclear things, and the phone pieces are in the last place you would expect them to be.

I took the time one day to find an Atari emulator and play this game. Afterwards, I deleted the game and the emulator and banged my head against a wall. That's how bad the game is.

I can't express enough how badly this game teaches the player about its limits and goals. The best part about this is that there's one game that does it worse.

#1 - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (NES)

A game, by definition, is something you play either with yourself or some friends in which you compete or play to reach a goal or accomplish something within the boundaries or rules the game sets. This barely fits the qualifications.

For those who don't know, this interactive catridge begins with you controlling Dr Jekyll, who's on his way somewhere. Along the way, he randomly gets attacked by some characters for no reason and then doesn't get hit by other characters that look exactly the same. You barely have any control over Dr. Jekyll and when he takes an unknown amount of damage, he turns to Mr. Hyde, who walks back where Dr. Jekyll came from. If you take an unknown amount of damage as Mr. Hyde, then you die. But if you survive, then at some random point you get struck by lightning and die anyway.

I don't think anyone who has ever played this game completely understands how it works, and I am one of those people. The game is simply unplayable because of how confusing it is and how much the game contradicts itself. It barely has rules and goals and it almost completely lacks control.

I have to completely agree with the Angry Video Game Nerd and Egoraptor and say that this is the worst game ever made. I highly doubt there will ever be a game ever as bad as this one unless someone really tried. It's simply that terrible.

***

Here's some other games that would have made the list had it been longer...

Hulk Hogan's Main Event (X360) - The Kinect is a unique add-on akin to the Eye-Toy of the Playstation 2, but the problem with it is that most developers suck at making games for it. This one happens to be the worst of the bunch, having the worst control and an experience that makes the gameplay feel even worse.

Pac-Man (Atari 2600) - This port of a legend is the definition of being a victim of lack of time. The game was developed by one man in about a month, and the game is horrible for it. The graphics and sound sucks, and the control just doesn't feel right. In addition, the game doesn't feel like Pac-Man.

Shaq Fu (Genesis) - When I first heard of this game I actually thought it was a joke. It wasn't until I saw videos of it that I realized that there actually was a Shaq O'Neil fighting game. It still shocks me to this day. And it isn't good. Oh no. It's not good at all. Have fun with no control!

Hotel Mario (CD-i) - Look, we all know that the Nintendo CD-i games were bad, but this one gets some special hate from me. Sure, the Zelda games were bad, but at least they had some resembelence to the Zelda universe (with one exception). Hotel Mario simply makes no sense whatsoever, and it's simply laughable what was attempted here. This game also is the primary reason that YouTube Poop exists, which is worth noting because the game is poop.

Zelda's Adventure (CD-i) - I mentioned an exception to Zelda CD-i games at least resembling the Zelda canon, and this was it. Zelda's Adventure doesn't have any resembelence to Zelda whatsoever except for the name. Unlike the other Zelda CD-i games, this one does use the classic top-down perspective but the gameplay and control are so bad that it doesn't even feel remotely familiar.

Charlie's Angels (PS2) - I really wanted to fit this disaster of a game into the list, but I simply couldn't. The game isn't even complete! But I still would have to say that games like Atlantis Squarepantis and Sonic '06 are worse games because of their flaws being so prominent. This game bugs players for the small things. Atlantis Squarepantis and Sonic '06 have major design flaws that make those games worse as a result. Be confident that this definitely would have taken the #11 spot.

There's definitely other bad games that I haven't mentioned, but these are the ones I think are worth noting. Thanks for reading!

"Sequelitis" - 2D Mario Games

So I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother has seen Egoraptor's three fantastic Sequelitis series of videos, most notably the Mega Man vs. Mega Man X video.

It's about time I give my two cents on something I've been wanting to discuss for a while: 2D Mario Games. I'll be writing this more informally than I normally do to make it as Sequelitis-y as possible, albeit in written form.

***

Why is it that Mario is the mascot of gaming?

I mean, actually think about it. He's the most lifeless character in all of media and yet somehow he manages to top well-thought-out characters like Travis Touchdown or Solid Snake. Why?

Well back in the early NES days, no character really had a personality. All of the characters were just an assorted bunch of pixels squished together to make something that kind of looked good. Seriously, no one can tell me that Atari 2600 characters had any depth, because they didn't. Developers couldn't rely on creative writing and deep meaning to make their games sell. You couldn't make Metal Gear Solid 4 for an 8-bit system. You just couldn't. Back in those days, the gameplay was the only thing that mattered. In a world like that, Mario would always be supreme.

And in reality, he still is supreme. Nintendo doesn't even have to put effort into their Mario games anymore to make them sell. Wario is even a more complex character than Mario, but his games don't sell like Mario. Not even close. New Super Mario Bros. Wii is one of the Wii's best-selling games but is also one of the weaker games on the system from an innovation standpoint.

So what changed from the original Super Mario Bros. to the newest 2D Mario on the Wii U? Or, at the very least, what changed that is significant?

NUMBER ONE - POWERUPS

Super Mario Bros. only had one real powerup and that was the Fire Flower. The Super Mushroom and Starman were there, but those practically don't even count as powerups. But that's not important.

See, back in early 2D Mario, you didn't need thousands of powerups to make a good game. The first game to include a multitude of powerups was Super Mario Bros. 3 with a grand total of 6 (counting the P-Wing). In SMB3, however, only three powerups were truly important: the Fire Flower, the Super Leaf, and the Frog Suit. The other three were secret powerups. Sure, they could do different things, but they're just super versions of other powerups. The Tanooki Suit and P-Wing are just better Super Leafs, and the Hammer Suit is just an enhanced Fire Flower. So when you really think about it, there's only three different powerups in Super Mario Bros. 3.

The general consensus is that Super Mario World is the best of the bunch, and while I disagree, it's important to understand why. Super Mario World only had two powerups: The Flower and the Cape. So why was it so fun and different? There's only one word to answer that question - Yoshi. And Yoshi had his own powerups too by way of the Koopa Shells. So really there were more powerups in Mario World than every other early 2D Mario.

Nowadays, Nintendo is accomodating to include variations on all of the powerups they had in the old Mario games, from Yoshi's inclusion in New Super Mario Bros. Wii to the "P-Acorn" in New Super Mario Bros. U: a tribute to the P-Wing. New Super Mario Bros. U even had three different Baby Yoshis in addition to the adult Yoshis, each with its own special ability. And while New Super Mario Bros. U has gotten a lot of praise, it also has seen its fair share of criticism.

But why? They have all of these cool powerups that everyone used to love!

I think the question we need to ask here is as follows. Do the powerups make the game?

Looking at my favorite 2D Mario (excluding Yoshi's Island), Super Mario Land 2, it's evident that this isn't the case.

The difference between the old 2D Mario and the new 2D Mario is that the games were designed around its powerups. Super Mario Land 2 only has two powerups: the Fire Flower and the Carrot. Both of these powerups have their own advantages and disadvantages but they can both be used in any level of the game to accomplish certain things while neglecting others. You could beat the entirety of Super Mario Land 2 with just the Carrot and have a great time and vice versa. Simply put, you can't do that with a New Super Mario Bros. game.

"But MML!" you say. "You can't beat Super Mario World with just one powerup!"

Obviously this is true, but this is because Super Mario World did something crazy by including Yoshi. Powerups weren't the top priority anymore: Yoshi was. The entire game was designed around Yoshi as opposed to Mario's different powerups. The only exception to this is the Ghost Houses and Castles, which are designed for both the Fire Flower and Cape Feather. And while there are some levels that I feel didn't fit well with this design choice (namely, most of Donut Plains and Twin Bridges) I can say that this game did different very well.

That's also why including Yoshi in the New Super Mario Bros. games was a terrible idea because he doesn't feel more than just a typical powerup. Only a few levels were designed around him, which is why he couldn't exit any levels with you. And my biggest problem with New Super Mario Bros. U is that you can take the Baby Yoshis to any level, as a majority of levels aren't designed around them.

So, what else?

NUMBER TWO - MEMORABILITY

People give the New Super Mario Bros. series crap for being too much of the same, and I have to agree wholeheartedly.

I'm sorry, but look at these two screenshots and tell me what is different from a stylistic standpoint.



Nothing except for the minor UI font change and the slightly different floor texture right?

Why did they do this? Old Mario games always looked different. No two looked the same, and it made it easy to get in the mood for not just any Mario game, but that specific Mario game. That's what makes those games have more memorability to them than their modern equivalents.

This applies to level design, too. I could describe a level from an old Mario game and you would likely remember it, but if I described a level from New Super Mario Bros. games, you wouldn't know what I was talking about with a few exceptions.

How many of you remember that level in World 5 of Super Mario Bros. 3 when the screen autoscrolled upwards and you had to jump across moving platforms and dodge fire chomps?

You know exactly what level I'm talking about, right? More likely than not you could give me a stage number.

Now, how many of you remember that ghost house level of New Super Mario Bros. DS when the floor randomly fell and rose?

Do you remember it? What world was it in?

Point made.

***
Now it's time to talk about what has stayed the same.

NUMBER THREE - SIMPLICITY

The biggest reason why Mario is so popular is because he's so accessible. Anyone can pick up and play a Mario game and have fun, whether it be 2D or 3D, and that's because the games are simple. All you do in Mario is run and jump. That's it, and that's the way it should be.

So, why then, I must ask, does Nintendo insist upon adding new things to Mario?

Seriously, why did we need Baby Yoshis in New Super Mario Bros. U? WHY? I don't understand it! It makes Mario more complicated than he needs to be! Mario just needs to be running and jumping. We don't need more crap to overcomplicate everything! Just make the the game feel different and it'll be fantastic.

Ironically, game feel is the one thing Nintendo isn't changing.

I already mentioned that all of Nintendo's modern Mario sidescrollers all look the same, but should I mention that they all sound the same too?

Take Zelda. Every Zelda game is distinctly different in its own way. Why can't Mario be that? Make a cell-shaded Mario game, and then make a darker one. Make a non-linear 2D Mario. Or at the very least, make the music different.

Simplicity isn't an excuse for lack of originality, and that's what Mario has turned into. Make something unique and different that will bring people in and stop playing it safe. You didn't play it safe when you changed the game design to revolve around Yoshi. You didn't play it safe when you added a world map. You didn't play it safe when you let people choose any world to start with. So why play it safe now?

Adding Baby Yoshis isn't the way to make a game feel new. Changing the design and style is. And because Nintendo doesn't follow that basic guideline, New Super Mario Bros. games are anything but "new".

NUMBER FOUR - LEVEL DESIGN

Now I know that not everyone likes Mario fan games, but I do. In fact, I've closely followed the development of big projects like Mushroom Kingdom Fusion and Super Mario Fusion Revival and am always excited to play games by HelloFangaming, an independent Mario fan game developer.

The reason why I love Mario fangames is because they tend to have unique level designs. For example, one level in Super Mario Fusion Revival is designed around the concept of jumping off of Yoshi, a concept that was integrated in the original Super Mario World but never was as necessary to completing stages as this level was.

I used to work on Mario levels with a program called Mario Builder and one of the levels I designed revolved around Mario's spin jump and utilizing it to jump atop saw blades. You could do this In Mario World, sure, but it wasn't an aspect of the level design.

These things are unique and memorable and completely absent from new 2D Mario games. Old Mario games have memorable levels because they do something unique with the same moves Mario has always used. A perfect example of this is in Super Mario World when the block train was first introduced or Super Mario Bros 3's World 8 Fortress which was quite the maze. These levels are memorable because they did new things with familiar mechanics. When New Super Mario Bros. reuses these mechanics, it makes the levels feel less unique and more nostalgic.

A sequel shouldn't live on its predecessor's glory. It should shine on its own. Take Kirby, a familiar series that have changed something minor with every game to make it feel different. Whether it be Return to Dreamland's Superabilities or Squeak Squad's treasure chests, it was different with every entry.

Mario's levels are all the same with the New Super Mario series and that needs to change. It doesn't have to be drastic, but small things can be done to set each game apart.

THE EPILOGUE - GFGHBCDSARFVJJcFFbJi

Mario games used to be great because they paired perfect platforming with unique level design. Now that one of those concepts has been abandoned the series is starting to grow stale... Fast.

Nintendo, please, stop adding stupid powerups and baby Yoshis and do something new and fresh with the most beloved IP in all of gaming.

So, yea that's it.

HEY IM GRUMP IM NOT SO GRUMP!!!

MML's Top 25 Games of All Time (2013 Edition)

Hey folks!

So about 10 months ago I made a list of the Top 15 Best Video Games. I decided to update the list and extend it to 25 this time around. Maybe we can make this an annual thing, eh?

Here's the rules:

-Remakes are allowed.
-Only games I have played but not necessarily beaten.
-No more than one entry per game. Just because a game is better on one platform isn't an excuse to include it twice on the list.
-Compilations and collections are not allowed.

Now, let's go!

#25 - Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)

One of the biggest problems with my old list was that I decided to include Super Mario 64 for no reason other than nostalgia. Ironically, I've rarely played the original game and have stuck to the DS remake for my Super Mario 64 craze.

The thing with Mario 64 is that it really isn't as good as people say it is. Some levels are well-made (Whomp's Fortress) when others simply aren't (Tiny-Huge Island). Going through the same areas over and over again to reach a star can get tiresome after a while, and I still have yet to 100% Super Mario 64 DS.

Super Mario Galaxy wasn't like that for me. It was a fun game and I really enjoyed it.

Once again, however, the entry can't be carried solely by nostalgia and I have to acknowledge that while Galaxy 1 is more memorable, Galaxy 2 is the better game. I've only played it at my friend's house, but I've played quite a lot of it and most of the levels are pretty fantastic. Sure it's unoriginal, but it is pretty damn solid.

#24 - Team Fortress 2 (PC)

I suck at first-person shooters. I do. But I still love this game.

The thing that makes TF2 so great is the fact that it doesn't do what every FPS does today. It has bright colors, unique class setups, incredible humor, and fantastic online play. When I'm bored and have 5 minutes to spare, I'll go get killed a few times in TF2, because it's fun and hilarious. That's what a multiplayer FPS should be. Fun and hilarious. Not 6-year-old-kid-rage-inducing.

#23 - Timesplitters 2 (PS2)

I don't even remember when I got this game and why I don't have it anymore, but I certainly remember that this game was the s**t.

It's the same reason I like TF2. It's fun and hilarious. Hell, you can play as a tree. I mean he's technically a Wood Golem but whatever... YOU CAN PLAY AS A TREE.

Hang on, did you hear correctly? I think not.

YOU CAN PLAY AS A TREE.

Point made.

#22 - Mario vs. Donkey Kong (GBA)

Back in 1994 a generic port of Donkey Kong was made for the Game Boy...

...or so we thought.

It turns out that whoever bought the game was in for over 100 levels of puzzle-platforming mayhem. People loved it, and the game was praised to death.

For me, however, I started out with a GBA and didn't have that experience. I got the sequel to that game, and it was damn good.

The level design in this game is simply fantastic, and there is so much content in this game I'm surprised it even fit on a GBA cart.

Now, with the series taking a direction even worse than where Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2 took it on the DS with this new game on the 3DS, I doubt Mario will see a great puzzle game like this GBA classic ever again.

#21 - Kirby's Adventure (NES)

Kirby's Adventure is the only game for the NES that I've beaten in it's original form and prefer it that way. All of the Mario games are better in their All-Stars form, and I've never really played any other NES game other than the short ones like Tetris and Marble Madness (both of which have seen better iterations on other platforms).

This game is just fantastic. The levels are extremely well-made, the copy abilities are all fun to use, the bosses are clever, and it was my favorite Kirby game for a really long time.

What's my favorite Kirby game now? You'll have to see later on...

#20 - Conker's Bad Fur Day (N64)

Sometimes, the craziest ideas work. In Rareware's case, their last N64 game was their second-best on that platform.

I think the thing that makes Conker so unique is that from a gameplay standpoint, the game is actually pretty terrible. This game could be considered the epitome of generic 3D platformer, lazily using "context-sensitive" platforms to integrate random gimmicks and completely changing the gameplay style towards the latter part of the game.

But do we care? Of course not! We're too busy pissing on people to care!

Despite the unoriginal gameplay, it's the way it was executed that makes Conker so great. Do we remember the fantastic level design? No, because it really sucked. But the entire time the adult British humor and charm oozes out of this game and so we can forget about all of the crappy bits (but remember one specific crappy bit, if you know what I'm saying).

From a technical standpoint, this game is pretty terrible. But games aren't technical, they're fun. Conker is fun.

#19 - Super Mario World (GBA)

Did you know that the original Super Mario World had a mistake?

It's true. It's actually impossible to collect 5 Dragon coins in every Bowser Valley level. It wasn't until the GBA port that it was fixed. Bet you didn't know that!

So everyone always talks about how great this game is and how it's one of the best, if not the best 2D Mario sidescroller, but I'd have to concur. Super Mario World is incredibly overrated. It was the second video game I ever played and even I can say that it's not as good as people say it is.

The game is fun, however. The levels are fantastically made, the secrets were clever and required you to think outside the box, and Yoshi eats everything. And the final boss was decent too, or at least better than Mario 1's final boss.

I'm not saying it's bad, but I am saying that it's not the best video game ever. In fact, there's 17 games that are better than this one. That's just all there is to it.


#18 - Super Mario Bros. 2 (GBA)

Right above Super Mario World we have the oddball in the original Mario games, Super Mario Bros. 2.

This game is simply genius on almost all accounts, and even though it isn't the Mario everyone knows today, it is still a great game worth playing.

The concept is simple. Instead of stomping on enemies to defeat them, you have to throw things at them. Occasionally you might want to throw enemies at each other. The idea was brilliant, and no one else had ever done something like it.

So before you complain that it isn't traditional Mario and therefore is bad, take the time to appreciate the innovation of this game.

I used to think that Super Mario World was better, but upon looking at both of the games, I like this one just a little bit more.


#17 - The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)

Well my favorite Zelda game really stepped down from last year, didn't it?

I guess Zelda isn't my cup of tea, because I don't like Majora as much as I thought I did. From a story and entertainment standpoint, the Zelda series is one of the best, but I can't seem to get a grip on the gameplay itself. It's not a problem with any particular Zelda game but the whole formula in general. Dungeons are too confusing. Controls can be clunky. Objectives can be unclear.

It's these things that make the Zelda series one of my lesser favorites.

But this doesn't mean Majora's Mask isn't a great game, because it is. In fact, this game's attention to detail contines to surprise me, and the level of emotional appeal from just talking to people is simply staggering.

Perhaps why I like this game more than the other Zeldas is because there is a clear motivation for the player to do things in this one. In most other Zelda games you are told that you have to do something for no other reason but you are the chosen one. In Termina, there is no such legend. You are simply a boy looking for a friend and happen to stumble upon a town with a giant moon about to collapse on it, threatening the end of everything. You, the player, want to do something, and that makes it all the more important to do something.




#16 - Donkey Kong Country 3 (SNES)

Let's talk about what most people consider as Rareware's best SNES game, Donkey Kong Country 2. Its level design was phenomenal (with one exception - I'm talking to YOU, Gusty Glade!), its music was masterful, and its graphics were even better than the first game.

The GBA port, in some people's eyes, was a downgrade, and upon intense inspection, I have to agree. The GBA port did add one really neat boss and a few decent minigames, but the graphics look better and the music sounds better on the SNES, and it makes the game feel better as a result. The GBA graphics also seemed really bright for this game, and I don't really understand why. A lot of the dark eeriness was lost with the port to the GBA.

Overall, Donkey Kong Country 2 is a classic and I love it.

But I didn't pick that one, did I? No, I picked the third entry. Why?

Well we all know that the GBA port sucks, but the SNES game is really fantastic. I joke with this game and call the entire game a one-level gimmick, but that's the magic with it, really. Every level has something new and interesting to present, by doing that the game was able to do things that other games couldn't get away with.

Look, if you want to play a DKC game that isn't a one-level gimmick, then go and play the other two games. With this game, Rare went bats**t crazy and sent a love letter to the people who loved the first two games with this absolutely insane game.

Every level is memorable. Every single one. That's quite an accomplishment and even Donkey Kong Country 2 couldn't do that.


#15 - Tetris (GB)

The definition of pick-up-and-play can be attributed to this classic Russian game, but its port on the original GameBoy is the definitive version. It's not the perfect game like some people think, and it can get boring after a while, but for an arcade-style game, it's really fun and really addictive. Definitely go and try it out, but only on this console. The other versions don't even come close to this one.

#14 - Portal (PC)

This game was talked to the death about when it first came out. It was a little game in a little package of games called the Orange Box, and now it's one of the most influential games ever. While games like Half-Life introduced the method of introducing a detailed story through the game itself as opposed to cutscenes, it was Portal that did it best. And now, most games do it this way. Games like the new Tomb Raider and Heavy Rain owe it to Valve for inventing this concept.

Unlike Tomb Raider and Heavy Rain, however, the gameplay is also fun and challenging. Portal's puzzles can challenge the minds of even the most intuitive gamers and really require players to think outside of the box.

My only real complaint with the game was that it was too short and there seemed to be a lot of lost potential, but that's why a sequel was made, right?

#13 - VVVVVV (PC)

I really regretted not putting my favorite indie game on the old list.

VVVVVV is a fantastic game that combines retro elements with a unique gravity-flipping mechanic and hard-as-nails gameplay that doesn't get frustrating. The story is entertaining, the music is catchy as hell, and the graphics are charming.

The thing that really makes VVVVVV so great is its approach to difficulty. This game was released long before Super Meat Boy made its footprint on the modern revolution against a life counter but the ideals are present.

Some games are better with lives, as it requires players to do extra things to earn more as a fail-safe and encourages players to explore. With VVVVVV, however, you're either heading from here to there or there to here. There's no point in going out of your way as it would probably cost more than the reward. Instead, VVVVVV incorporates a variety of collectibles for players to test their skills out on over and over, determined to make it further and further every time until they finally accomplish their goal.

That's what VVVVVV is about, and that's why I love it so much.

#12 - Super Mario Bros. 3 (GBA)

Super Mario Bros. 3 is almost universally considered to be the best NES game, and I'd agree. It just so happens that its All-Stars port is even better, and its GBA remake even better than that.

I don't need to sing Super Mario Bros. 3's praises. If you haven't played it, then you simply don't know video games. Mario 3 is the definition of "classic game". That's why it's so high.

#11 - Pac-Mania (Arcade)

Pac-Mania is the magnum opus of arcade gaming. It may not be never-ending like Galaga or the original Pac-Man, but its finite structure allowed Namco to really flesh things out and develop something truly great.

The thing with this game was that Pac-Man had the ability to jump to dodge ghosts, but the ghosts came in more numbers and had some jumping varieties of their own. This reduced the amount of times I got cheaply cornered like in the original Pac-Man to practically never while still having an incredible challenge.

This game, to me, is the definition of overcoming an obstacle. Can you clear all of the dots with the set amount of lives? It took me a while, but I eventually succeeded.

#10 - Banjo-Kazooie (N64)

I've had this N64 emulator on my computer for the longest time, but I never really figured out how to play games on it very well. DK64 crashed on me in Angry Aztec countless times, Mario Party just didn't load at all, and Kirby 64 didn't control well with the controller I was using. I eventually bought most of these games on Virtual console later on.

The only game that I've gotten to work is Banjo-Kazooie, and man am I happy it does.

The game seems to grow on me with every playthrough. I used to think the game was decent, but now I've begun to really appreciate this game. The worlds are fun and immersive, the control is spot-on, and Grant Kirkhope's compositions are a banquet for my ears.

This game is far better than Mario 64 in just about every way, and it's genuinely hard to find things wrong with this game. It's not perfect, however, and there's till nine games that are better.

#9 - Psychonauts (PC / PS2 / XBOX)

As far as weird games go, this one takes the cake.

Double Fine is perhaps known best for the games they didn't make. Tim Schafer, head of Double Fine, worked at the recently-closed LucasArts until about 2000, when he set out on his own. Games such as Day of the Tentacle and Grim Fandango were certainly bizzare games, and while Day of the Tentacle may be a bit stranger, Schafer's first game with his new company is by far his best.

Psychonauts takes a kid by the name of Razputin on a quest through people's minds to learn the ways of being a Psychonaut and uncovering an evil plot headed by the people he wouldn't expect to commit such dastardly deeds.

Unlike most 3D platformers, Psychonauts chooses not to focus on action or platforming and instead chooses to focus on puzzle-solving, essentially taking the point-and-click formula and making it more accessible and less convoluted.

All of the worlds are incredibly imaginative and very few parts of the game feel dull. It's definitely an underrated masterpiece and it is one of the best 3D platformers out there.

#8 - Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom (PS2 / GCN / XBOX)

How can a licensed video game be good?

It always seems to be a curse within video gaming that liscenced games are an easy cash-in for video game companies and none of them really do anything special or even remotely decent. Some games, like Aladdin for the SNES and the Batman: Arkham games, manage to stand out and do something great, but none even come close to this masterpiece.

The thing that makes this even more surprising is that upon playing the game a bit more recently, I've determined that it is my favorite 3D platformer, moreso than any by Nintendo, Rare, or Naughty Dog. That is truly an accomplishment right there.

If you don't like Spongebob, it doesn't matter as this is still a fantastic game worth playing. If you do like Spongebob (or did, at least, before it started to suck), then you'd be pleased to know that the game looks, feels, sounds, and even is as funny as the show once was.

Just go play this game. Right now. GO!

#7 - Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)

This past console generation was full of franchises making 2D reboots. The New Super Mario Bros. series was selling like hotcakes, Rayman Origins received major critical acclaim, but for my money, there were only two games that truly did it right.

While Donkey Kong Country Returns didn't have as great of a plot (stupid tikis) and emotional impact as the other 2D reboot on this list, Retro Studios still did a fantastic job taking the classic Donkey Kong Country series and making it even better than it already was.

People talk way too much about Metroid Prime and the way it reinvented the Metroid series. It clearly didn't reinvent the series as Metroid: Other M completely denies the Prime games' existence. Donkey Kong Country Returns is timeless and will always be regarded as one of the best pieces of evidence that the Wii was just as good as the technically superior consoles by focusing more on the game and using the hardware to its full potential. That's why I love it so much (other than the fact that the game's freakin' awesome).

#6 - Portal 2 (PC)

Making a sequel is hard.

The first game was amazing. Its plot was great, the puzzles were tricky, and GLaDOS is one of the greatest villains in all of gaming.

Then they made a sequel that's not only 5 times as long as the first, it's also more innovative, has a better plot, and a character even better than GLaDOS.

Portal 2 really blew my expectations out of the water. Even the music is phenomenal, something that you wouldn't expect from a game that primarily lacks music.

Just go on Steam right now and buy this game. It's something you won't regret and it's by far the best first-person game out there.

#5 - Kirby's Return to Dreamland (Wii)

A year ago, I still had not played this game. I wanted to, but I simply didn't have the time. I was too busy playing Donkey Kong Country Returns with all of the time I would have spent on this game because that game was so great.

I really missed out for a long time, however, because this game is the best Kirby game out there, and it's not for the reason you would think.

It's actually Return to Dreamland's story that puts it so high. Can you believe it?

Whenever people talk about story in a video game, eyes are usually drawn to the Final Fantasy games or maybe Mother 3, but for me simplicity is key in a story for a video game - after all, the focus should be on the game. The fact that this game's simple story managed to draw so much emotional appeal from me is simply startling.

It's not the cinematics or anything along that front. It's just the fact that it makes the player hate themselves so much, integrating the story into the game experience more than most other plots can.

I'm not going to spoil the story for you (even though I did on one of my past lists and you could watch my Let's Play of the game to find out), but you'd be surprised on how well it was executed.

#4 - Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (GBA)

The one thing that always bugged me about role-playing games was the luck-based elements in battle. Sure, you select an attack, but how much damage it deals, whether it's a critical hit or not, or whether the enemy will counter it and kill you is all up to chance. While Super Mario RPG and Paper Mario started to change that, it wasn't until Superstar Saga that I felt entirely in control of how battles played out. And that's why it's my favorite RPG, and the only one on this list.

And unlike most spin-offs, this game is actually really fantastic. The story is great, the humor is beyond words, and the areas you visit are engrossing and are always worth revisiting. I cannot emphasize enough how well-written Fawful's dialogue is. I simply cannot.

On a side note, CHUCKLEHUCK CHUCKLEHUCK CHUCKLEHUCK IT'S SO FUNNY.

#3 - Super Mario Land 2 (GB)

Sidescrolling Mario is simple. It's all just running and jumping. People say that Mario 3 or Mario World is the best at it, but the simplicity of Super Mario Land 2 is what makes it so wonderful. It's just Mario, 6 worlds full of great levels, and Wario's trap-filled castle with him waiting at the end.

There's only two powerups in this game, but they are both integral parts of the game experience and don't feel thrown in like a P-balloon or a Tanooki Suit. The enemies have more charm than ever, and it's an easy game to just pick up and play, which is essentially the entire reason behind Mario's success.

This game is great because it's simple and easy to understand. Mario is the epitome of simplicity and innovation, two things that are rarely paired together. In Super Mario Land 2, he masters both of these ideas.

#2 - X-Com: UFO Defense (MS-DOS / PC)

Micropose's decision to use music to engross the player in a riveting and almost terrifyingly horrifying game experience is one of the greatest decisions in video game history.

For a Nintendo guy like me, X-Com was one of my first real mature games. There wasn't any bright colors and catchy music - it was all atmosphere. Does that mean the game was completely grey and brown? No. Does it mean that there was no music? Hell no.

What it does mean is that every second of this game does exactly what it intends to do. The aliens are hidden within your world and you have no clue where they are. You are the commander of your soldiers and so you don't have control over how good they are at shooting or whether they know how to dodge. All you can do is give orders, sit back, and pray. It's stressful, but that's the point. It's scary, but that's the point.

It's so counter-intuitive when you think about it. I usually don't like games that use this mechanic. Most RPGs I don't like because of their primarily luck-based attacks and inability to really control characters in battle like you can in the Mario & Luigi games. X-Com, meanwhile is great because it does just that. What other game does that and doesn't suck? Other than its somewhat decent sequel and its supposedly amazing remake that I still can't play on my computer, I can't think of any.

#1 - Yoshi's Island (GBA)

I'll stand strong with my point and continue to insist that Yoshi's Island for the GBA is the only perfect video game in existence and I love it to death. No other game is as fair but challenging, relaxing but rewarding, happy but dark, and well-made but fun as this game is.

Every time I play this game, I always find something new that I never saw before. I never noticed that there's two exits to the hardest level in the game and the last secret level, Endless World of Yoshis, and that one of them ends with the tutorial level that you started the game playing. I never noticed that the ski lifts drop a little bit of snow when you jump on them. I never noticed that the Yoshi you play as on the final level of the game is the same Yoshi you played as when you played the first level of the game. All of these little things that they did to just add to the experience continues to amaze me.

The music is perfectly orchestrated. All of the sprites and graphics are perfectly made and look beautiful. All of the levels are perfectly designed and every level stands out. All of the enemies are perfectly unique and original. But is it really the technical prowess of Yoshi's Island that makes it perfect, or is it the fact that the game is simply the most enjoyable game I've ever played? Does a big investment in making a high-quality game that pushes the boundaries of the hardware it runs on make a game great, or is a game that is unique and innovative and doesn't involve shooting the same enemies over and over again the better game?

Yoshi's Island is perfect because it makes the gaming experience perfect. It isn't in HD 16:9 1080p widescreen, but is that important? No. What's really important is making it worth your time. And Yoshi's Island is more than worth your time.

***

Games that Left the List and Why

EarthBound

EarthBound looked very promising at first. Its story is intriguing and the game is freaking hilarious. The problem is the same problem I've had with most RPGs. Unlike the Mario RPGs there is a heavy reliance on luck and the only way to win is by fighting a lot of easy enemies and then going back to the tougher ones with increased stats. It's a very grindy game and the battles are too luck-based for my tastes. It's why I never got into Final Fantasy and it's why I can't seem to want to finish playing this game.

Persona 3 FES

So I've actually gotten the game since the last list and while it's still a great game, it is a very grindy game, moreso than EarthBound. It definitely pays off with a far more interesting story than EarthBound's, but it still isn't quite my cup of tea.

DOOM

I really wanted to squeeze this in but found out that I couldn't. DOOM is still a great game, but I soon found that the sequel was better, and when I tried to fit that in, I found that there were a lot of games that I neglected to mention in the old list that were simply better than DOOM and its sequel. It's not a bad game, but it's simply not good enough.

Super Mario 64

I mentioned at the start of this list that I wasn't really a fan of Mario 64 and I just included it on the old list for nostalgia. Besides, even if I did include Mario 64, I would have included the remake as it is the definitive version of the game despite how much the game was changed.

Super Mario All-Stars + World

I decided to exclude collections on this list, making this game unable to be an entrant. When I went back and thought about it, I realized that if I included collections, then I should have included the Zelda Collectors' Disk on Gamecube instead of Majora's Mask as it had Majora and three other Zelda games, and I could have included the Kirby Dream Collection that had all of the old-school Kirby games up to Kirby 64 except Super Star. It just simply wasn't fair to include a game collection like that so I decided to disqualify this game.

***

Thanks for reading this list!

Top 10 Most Disappointing Video Games I've Ever Played

OH MAN LOOK IT'S ONLY TWO DAYS UNTIL THE GREATEST GAME EVER!!!

OH MAN IT'S ONLY ONE DAY!!!

IT'S OUT!!!

...and it sucks.

Here's the top 10 games that gave me that experience!

Rules:
-These aren't the worst games, but the most disappointing. This means I had high expectations of the game but it wound up a lot worse.
-These can only be games I've played.

Let's go!

#10 - Super Smash Bros. Melee (NGC)

Well here's something you didn't expect!

Let me clarify: when I talk about how this game disappointed me, I'm talking almost exclusively about the adventure mode.

See, I played Brawl before Melee, and while the Subspace Emissary sucked, it was moderately entertaining. I can't really punish Melee for the absence of something that was made in its sequel, but what I can discuss is the flawed name.

Melee had an Adventure mode, too. And it wasn't an adventure at all. In fact, it was one of the most boring things I've ever had the displeasure to play. You had to make your way through 10 beat-em-up platforming levels that had no association to them whatsoever and then that was it.

So when I play Melee, I'm going to play the actual game and not the Adventure mode. Unlike every other game, the Adventure mode in this game isn't an adventure.

#9 - Mario Pinball Land (GBA)

I don't even remember how I got this game, but what I do remember is looking at the box and saying "OMG it's Mario AND it's pinball! What could possibly go wrong?"

If you know Bubsy the Bobcat, then you know that that means everything has gone wrong.

Mario Pinball Land just isn't fun at all. Sure it was an original concept, but the combination of the Mario 64-style star-collecting and pinball was executed horribly.

Perhaps the worst part of the game is when you've killed all of the enemies and the star is in the middle of the screen but you simply can't obtain it. Mario constantly "just missed" the star and then eventually falls in-between the flippers, causing you to move back a room and then defeat all of the enemies again when you return.

The bosses were also incredibly underwhelming and were as generic as possible - a Petey Parahna boss in a windmill or a Egyptian koopa statue in a pyramid,for example. The worst of the bunch has to be the final boss, Bowser. His battle is tedious and annoying, and defeating him wasn't satisfying.

Overall, Mario Pinball Land is just a mess. I really can't stand the game.

#8 - Mario Party 8 (Wii)

Unlike everyone else, I happen to think that Mario Party 7 is the best Mario Party. All of the minigames are fun, the orbs are balanced, and the luck seems to be at a relative minimum. It also happened to be the second Mario Party I played (6 being the first).

Naturally, when I got a Wii and found out about Mario Party 8, I was excited. The wait was slightly longer this time than it was from 6 to 7 and so I expected something even better than my favorite Mario Party. What I got instead was one of the worst party games I've ever played.

Every minigame in Mario Party 8 is gimmicky. Most of the minigames are a matter of waggling the remote around and about a good quarter of all of the minigames are completely luck-based. None of the boards really stood out and some of the board gimmicks were copy-pasted from Mario Party 7 (I'm looking at you Koopa Tycoon Town!).

Even worse than all of this is the removal of one of the coolest aspects of Mario Party 6 and 7 - the Bowser and DK Minigames. Instead of just a wheel like in Mario Party 2, you had to play a minigame in order to get a reward (or in Bowser's case the ability to not get the "reward"). These games were the most fun games in the entire package and they were completely removed in Mario Party 8 for no reason whatsoever.

After Mario Party 8, Hudson managed to redeem themselves with Mario Party DS, but eventually the second-party developer dissolved into nothingness and so Nintendo handed Mario Party over to Nd cube. Unfortunately Wii Party sucks and Mario Party 9 just looks wierd as hell so I don't really have any hopes for this once-legendary party game series.

#7 - Drawn to Life (DS)

Was it just me or did Drawn to Life not live up to its hype at all?

Seriously, the game was as generic as it could get. The only unique thing about the game was the ability to draw new objects as they were introduced into the game, which really isn't as great as it sounds. In addition, the story sucked, the game's difficulty spike is the worst thing ever (I still can't beat the last level), and the level design was bland and generally just bad.

I don't have much to say here, but the life I tried to illustrate in Drawn to Life was extremely boring. I really didn't like the game.

#6 - Pac-Man World (PS1)

Back when I thought Pac-Man World 2 was the best game ever made, I realized that I got the first game that same Christmas. So I booted up my brand new PS2, took out the Pac-Man World 2 disk, and put in the first one.

And it sucked.

It's not that Namco didn't try, because they did. The problem was that the controls were incredibly clunky, the depth perception is one of the worst in any game I've ever played, and the game just seemed confusing to me.

I got decently far through the game and I eventually got to the final battle, which was incredibly underwhelming - and even better, there was no music. That's right, there was no music during the final boss of the game.

Overall, if you want to play a Pac-Man 3D platformer, don't play this one. Pac-Man World 2 and 3 are good games, but this one really isn't.

#5 - Spongebob: Lights! Camera! Pants! (PS2)

This game really surprised me with how bad it really was. Given the fact that most liscensed video games are either platformers (which Spongebob already mastered) or party games, I really wasn't expecting something this disappointing.

Lights! Camera! Pants! takes a different approach to the party game. Instead of playing on a game board, players are given a score based on their score in the minigame. Whoever gets the most points at the end of a series of minigames obtains a part on the next episode of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. The ultimate goal is to get to play the Sneaky Hermit - the new villain.

The problem here is that half of the minigames really suck and take way too long. Instead of simple minute-long minigames, the minigames here take over three minutes, which is just way too long for a rhythm-based minigame or a simple race. It made the game feel so much slower-paced and it really bugged me.

Also, if you want any chance at completing a whole game, you better have a lot of time on your hands, because it takes hours. There is a save feature but the likelyhood that you and your three other friends will all be at your house at the sametime and want to resume this game is slim to none, which really dampens the multiplayer potential this game had.

Oh well, I'll just stick to Mario Party 7. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

#4 - Super Monkey Ball Adventure (PS2)

I didn't own a Gamecube for a while, but I had a Playstation 2. As a result of this I didn't get Super Monkey Ball or Super Monkey Ball 2. Instead I got Super Monkey Ball Deluxe, which most people say is the definitive way to play the first two Monkey Ball games. I freaking love Super Monkey Ball Deluxe and I play it to death to this day. So naturally, when I saw a new Monkey Ball game in the store I picked it up.

The first thing I noticed was that it wasn't Super Monkey Ball.

I'm not even joking here. Sure you have the same characters but that's about it. Most of the game is a crappy adventure game where you need to go and complete tasks for people to make the island super-happy. Once in a blue moon you actually get a stage challenge and they all are ridiculously underwhelming.

My guess is that Sega wanted to do with Monkey Ball the same thing they thought they did successfully with Sonic: place more emphasis on the story. Unlike Sonic '06, which is a game much worse than this, however, I actually thought this game would be good, and man was I wrong.

After that abomination I wasn't expecting much from Banana Blitz, and I'm glad I didn't because while that game did make a return to form, it sucked too.

I've never picked up Super Monkey Ball Adventure since I played it that first time and I never plan to. The game is simply that bad.

#3 - Spongebob: The Yellow Avenger (DS)

This game is absolutely terrible.

You have to understand. Battle for Bikini Bottom and the Movie game were great on consoles and still pretty good on handhelds. They were all fun and I've beaten both games on both platforms many times.

Naturally, I was expecting at least a half-decent game when I hear of a Spongebob game for the DS. Instead I got one of the most boring gaming chores I've ever had to endure.

Unlike the show, which is happy, hilarious, and entertaining, this game is dull, boring, and tedious as hell. You run back and forth through boring areas to complete boring tasks for people to access more boring areas and more boring tasks until you get more boring abilities that let you access more boring areas so that eventually you can fight boring bosses and then eventually reach the end of this boring game.

Point is, if you want to fall asleep, play this game. It's not fun at all.

#2 - Yoshi's Island DS

After making the perfect video game by remaking the SNES classic on the GBA, Nintendo decided to hand over their beloved Yoshi franchise to Artoon, a company who isn't known for anything before their Yoshi games. They made "beloved classics" such as Yoshi Topsy-Turvy (which gets a lot of hate for gimmicky motion controls), Yoshi Touch and Go (which gets crap for being too short), and Yoshi's Island DS.

Playing Yoshi's Island DS literally made me cry. I couldn't stand how bad the game was when compared to the original. Everything I loved about the original game was just gone. Most of the music doesn't even compare to the original game, the control just felt completely off, and instead of focusing on the levels to make the game entertaining, the game had to shove a bunch of other babies in our face that no one wanted. Seriously, is there anyone that can say that they enjoy playing as Baby Wario? Because I simply don't see it. On top of all that, the game only has 5 worlds, which is just emphasizing how lazy Artoon was with this game.

I've already made a review of Yoshi's Island DS and you all know how much I can't stand this game, so I'll leave it at that. Just know that you should play the original if you want to play Yoshi.

Nintendo, please make Yoshi's Island 3DS and the Yarn Yoshi game good! PLEASE!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!

#1 - Spongebob's Atlantis Squarepantis (PS2)

I can't even begin to explain how much this game sucks when compared to every other Spongebob game on the planet. It just does.

I actually don't know how to phrase it. The game is just bad. Nothing about it is fun and everything THQ decided to do with this game was a bad choice. Why they couldn't have just made a new and interesting 3D platformer is beyond me. Instead, they made this abomination of a game that is not fun in the slightest.

Just avoid this game at all costs. If you've played Creature from the Krusty Krab, the Movie game, or Battle for Bikini Bottom you might think this game is decent but it isn't.

I think Fawful's Minion (Animalguy001) put it best when he was referencing this game: "Oh God just kill me now."

YouTube Channel Disabled - Updates

Hey Google, you've been treating me pretty well... Until now.

So just today I got a pop-up when I signed in to YouTube asking if I would like to make my YouTube channel name (MML129) my name across all of my google products. I gladly accepted, only to find that YouTube integrated crappy Google+ into my channel.

When I disabled Google+ my channel got disabled, and from what I've read, when I restore it all of my subscribers, comments, and messages will be gone.

So I've decided not to go and recreate my channel for fear that I screw stuff up more. Instead I've contacted Google and I'm hoping for the best.

Until then PLEASE either like my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/MML129LP or follow my Tweeter at http://www.twitter.com/MML_129. I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Thanks for your patience folks. There was a video scheduled to release tomorrow but it looks like you won't get to see it, or any of my videos for that matter :(

-MML


EDIT: My channel's back in action now :D

Top 10 Greatest Boss Battles in all of Gaming

Yea, yea, I know.... Every countdown person does this list, and it's probably more entertaining to watch a video about it, but guess what?

I DON'T CARE!!!

So, with that out of the way, let's dive into this.

Rules:
-No more than one boss per game.
-SPOILERS POUGBAIDVFIOVAPIVIV
-That's it!

#10 - Brownie (Super Meat Boy)

Super Meat Boy is an incredibly hard game, but it's equally as fair. Every single Meat Boy that died perished because you, the player, mistimed a jump, overshot a platform, or didn't dodge the missile. Nothing is really cheap in Super Meat Boy (with one notable exception, but I'll get to that another time).

That's why it's so great to face off against someone who's completely and entirely your equal.

This isn't like Dark Link, where it's just your shadow. No, it's a race to the finish against a creatively designed character that happens to be just as good as you are at platforming. Don't take this for a grain of salt (get it?), as Brownie will kick your ass if you aren't careful. Always be sure to watch what he is doing so that you can always be one step ahead of him. That's the only way you'll ever get past him.

#9 - Organic Final Boss (Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet)

Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet has one of the most interesting stories of any game. and yet it doesn't even have names for its bosses.

Well, it doesn't need to.

This boss (whatever it is) is my favorite in the game because it really tests your puzzle-solving skills moreso than some of the more gimmicky bosses in the game. In order to make any progress in this game you have to really think about what to do and figure things out, and this guy makes sure that you understand that before progressing to the Ocean area. I won't spoil how to beat this guy, but instead I'll show you a screenshot and when you all play the game, you'll have to figure it out. Then you'll see how cool this guy is.

#8 - King K. Rool (Donkey Kong Country)

To put it in the simplest of terms, King K. Rool really is just about memorization. Crown toss. Dash left, crown toss. Dash right, dash left, crown toss. Dash right, dash left, dash right, crown toss. Cannonballs, crown toss. Cannonballs, cannonballs, crown toss. Cannonballs, cannonballs, cannonballs, crown toss. And you get the point.

What really makes K. Rool so great is the tone it sets. The music starts incredibly cheerful but then quickly changes to a more intense battle theme that is incredibly iconic. K. Rool starts with a relatively simple crown toss but slowly puts more and more effort into trying to beat you, showing the fact that he really is trying his hardest here and isn't one of those stupid bosses who hands you the means of defeating them. He even tries faking his death with the first in many fake Rare credit rolls to come in later games, only to rise up again and try to stomp you to death.

Unlike other bosses that people love, K. Rool really tried to win and wasn't just an idiot. His passionate attempt was accompanied by an incredible music track and stunning visuals. It's a great battle. I love it.

#7 - Mother Brain (Super Metroid)

Well, now it's time to reveal one of my biggest secrets: I've never beaten Super Metroid. In fact, I've never even played Super Metroid. But I cannot deny how brilliantly this final battle was set up. In fact, I could say that this might be the greatest story-driven boss battle of all time, but I might have to think about that a bit more.

Mother Brain is known for being a coward, sitting in her stupid glass jar and hoping her minions (onion rings?) kill you before you kill her. In the original Metroid, that was all there was to it, but in this game there's a hell of a lot more.

I'm posting a YouTube video of this battle here instead of a screenshot because everything that happens here simply cannot be expressed through words. Watch the entire video. Just watch.


#6 - Masked Dedede (Kirby Super Star Ultra)

King Dedede is just that villain that just doesn't know what he's doing. He and Kirby have always had a friendly rivalry of sorts, but there really hasn't been anything major between the two.

UNTIL NOW.

In Return of the King, a new subgame in Kirby Super Star's DS remake, King Dedede is the final battle, but instead of you standard Dedede fight, things are a whole lot more intense. Dedede's got a mask, a mechanized hammer that can really hurt, and an electrical cage surrounding the whole arena.

Dedede has been beaten by Kirby for far too long, and now he has pulled out all the stops and is trying everything he can to defeat Kirby. Luckily, with enough skill, Kirby still can defeat the king, but nowhere near as easily as before.

#5 - Bowser (Super Mario Bros. 3)

Why does EVERYONE think that the Super Mario World final boss is great?

Seriously, it isn't! I don't get it! It isn't even atmospheric and the method of defeating Bowser is just stupid.

Luckily, there's this. And this, friends, is pure gold.

Unlike Super Mario World, Bowser doesn't hand you the means of defeating him in Super Mario Bros. 3. He just happens to underestimate his own strength. Bowser could have easily kicked Mario's butt had he realized that his floor could not support his jumping around. But he didn't, because he had too much confidence in his castle's architecture.

You, the player, beat Bowser not by strength, but by intelligence. You managed to beat one of the strongest beings in the Mushroom Kingdom by letting him defeat himself. That's just incredible.

#4 - The Bird Door (Super Mario Bros 2. (USA))

Wart really isn't a good boss. But the boss before Wart is simply genius.

See, at the end of every level in Super Mario Bros. 2, you had to pick up this crystal ball thing and then walk into the mouth of this bird head thing that's implanted into a nearby wall. It was really bizzare, but eventually you get used to it.

That's why it's so genius for the Bird Door to start flying around and attacking you when you pick up the crystal ball in Wart's Castle. It's an easy boss, but no one would see something like that coming. It's really creative and I wish developers would trick players more like this.

#3 - Magaloor (Kirby's Return to Dreamland)

Okay, I've changed my mind. Magaloor is the best story-driven boss of all time, and it even beats Super Mario Bros. 2's Bird Door with regard to tricking the player.

The entirety of Kirby's Return to Dreamland was about helping this little innocent alien by the name of Magaloor. His ship crashed and you helped put it back together. He kindly offered to take you to his home planet only to find a dragon named Landia having taken it over. But it was all a trap.

Landia was the good guy, but you were helping the villain. Landia tried to stop you by sending all sorts of Sphere Doomers your way, but you were such a stubborn player and refused to listen. Now Magaloor threatens to take over Dreamland and the entire universe unless you stop him.

First off, you start Level 8, Another Dimension, with a side-scrolling shooter battle with the ship that you spent the entire game rebuilding. After that is a two-phase battle with Magaloor that could not have been designed any better. Not only do you get to finish off his first phase with superabilities, but then in his second phase he manages to take your superabilities and use them against you.

The music in the second phase sets the tone perfectly. It integrates themes from the entire soundtrack to show you that this is what your entire quest has led to. The journey was utterly pointless and now you're paying the price for it. There is still hope, however, and as the trumpet fanfare culminates, you can land your final hit on Magaloor.

If you want the true satisfaction that this battle can provide, by the way, don't use Spark. It breaks the game.

Overall, this battle is amazing and Kirby's Return to Dreamland is my favorite Kirby game because of it.

Also, this DeviantART drawing is absolutely amazing.

#2 - Baby Bowser (Yoshi's Island)

I'm pretty sure most of you expected this battle to be number 1, but there's a boss that deserves more credit than Baby Bowser.

That doesn't mean that this boss isn't amazing because it is.

The battle starts in Bowser's playroom, where he asks "what kind of a green downkey is dat? ME WANNA WIDE! MINE! MINE!" He then triggers a shockwave battle that requires you to ground-pound the floor to create shockwaves that hurt him.

But that's only the beginning of it, for when you hit him three times, Kamek uses his magic, and then the game turns sinister.

CUE BADASS MUSIC.

Baby Bowser is nowhere to be seen until Yoshi turns and you look into the background, where you see Bowser raise his arms as he yells, cuing boulders to fall from the sky and attempt to crush you and knock away some of the platform you are standing on. He slowly starts to make his way closer and closer towards you, where you will inevitably perish.

But there is still hope. A balloon floats in, carrying a giant egg. If you could throw that egg straight into Bowser's face, your doom might be delayed or even stopped. After seven hits, the giant beast falls and you are able to rescue Baby Luigi and the stork. Congratulations on a fantastic babysitting job and a phenomenal boss battle.

But there's still one that's greater...

#1 - Spongebot Steelpants (Spongebob: Battle for Bikini Bottom)

I am absolutely certain that no one saw this coming.

I mean, seriously. How could a boss from a Spongebob game be good enough to be on this list, let alone be number 1?

Well, that's simple, actually.

This boss battle is the culmination of everything you have done throughout your quest in Bikini Bottom. You journeyed into the Mermalair, slid down some slopes at Sand Mountain, and even journeyed into your friends' dreams in order to gather enough Golden Spatulas to stop the robot crisis at its source in the Chum Bucket. It is revealed that a robot equivalent of Plankton is the leader of these rogue robots, and the greatest robot of them all stands in between you and the switch to turn of the robot-making machine: a robot version of you, Spongebob.

The boss tests everything you have learned throughout the game, from careful platforming to precision with the Cruise Bubble. When you take out all of the weak spots on the robot, you journey into the robot to defeat it at its core, where you encounter hoards of enemies and face off with Robot Plankton, with the goal of taking out all of the fuses with all of the moves you have mastered throughout your quest.

No boss has truly tested my mastery of the game like this one has. Giant Baby Bowser may be in the perfect game and I would do absolutely nothing to change that boss battle, but this boss gets bonus points for doing something that no other game could.

Thanks for reading this list, and if I don't get videos out on time next week, you can blame me taking the time to write this list.